Spiritual Practices

Today is Mardi Gras.  Fat Tuesday.  The day before Ash Wednesday, which means we are about to enter the liturgical season of Lent.

Did you know that the word Lent means “spring”?  It is derived from the Germanic languages, for instance, from the Old English lęncten, which roughly translates into “lengthen,” as lengthening days are characteristic of spring (and boy, oh boy, am I so grateful for each minute more of daylight we get as we move towards the summer solstice!). It is only in modern English that the word has come to have ecclesiastical meaning as well. Both senses of the word, however, have to do with seasons, seasons that begin in cold, dark places, slowly working their way towards warmth and light, culminating in an abundance of new life.

I find it more than just coincidence that this year Lent is beginning at a time when I am ready to make some changes in my life.  Nothing huge, but I have been struggling lately to figure out my place, my vocation, what I am meant to do in this world.  Certain things have been coming into focus for me, at least in some small ways, but there remains so much that is out of focus.

This morning I did a few minutes of yoga for the first time in months.  I love doing yoga, and I've missed it.  I ended with some deep breathing meditation, which I've never done before, and, as I went through the Sa TA Na Ma mantra (Totality, Creation, Dissolution, and Regeneration), I came to the realization that I wanted to commit to some spiritual practices for this year's Lenten season.  I hope that this process helps more things to come into focus for me.

By the time I finished my yoga this morning, I had a vision of the spiritual practices that I want to commit to these next 40 days.  Here they are:

1)  A hiatus from Facebook (yes, I'm keeping the meat, not that I eat much of it anyway, and giving up FB.  Such are the times we live in).
2)  Daily yoga and meditation/prayer.
3)  Working to eat more healthily and holistically, and allowing that to be a gradual process.
4)  Addressing God in the feminine, e.g., Mother God.
5)  Journaling/blogging throughout this process.

I admit that this is a bit of an unusual list.  Let me share my reasoning behind these choices.

#1 & #5.  I realized that I have been spending too much time lately in front of digital media.  At work, I'm in front of a computer for 6 hours, and there's not much I can do about that.  But I've also been spending what I feel is an unhealthy amount of time in front of screens in my non-working hours, whether that be watching movies (we have a TV, yes, but it's an old analog one without an adapter; the only reason we have it is so we can watch movies on it), checking Facebook, or checking email.  And when I look at how I spend my non-work computer time, FB is the biggest time suck.  I need a break from the FB vortex, and I think it will be good for me.  I'll work to minimize my email and other online time, though I do want to continue to post here.  I've felt empowered by the blogging medium these past few weeks, and I want to share my process in these spiritual practices: it will help to keep me accountable.  Journaling and/or blogging throughout the process will also, I hope, help me to see how I shift and change: how my spiritual practices make a difference.

#2.  As I mentioned before, I love doing yoga.  It is empowering, healing, balancing, life-giving, calming.  When I take the time to do it every morning I am more happy and peaceful (not to mention more flexible).  I have two books that I use, Yoga for Your Life, by Margaret D. and Martin G. Pierce, and Yoga for Women, by Shakta Kaur Khalsa.  Along with the yoga comes meditation, of which I have not done much, at least in a disciplined way, and prayer, with which I do have a fair bit of experience.  I have a feeling that the prayer and meditation, with practice, will pop up in other parts of my days as well.  Recently I have begun taking a 10-15 minute walk in the afternoon, after lunch, as a break from my computer screen and a breath of fresh air, and when I slow down enough and truly look at the world around me, the river and sky and mountains, a deep quiet and peace settles in.  I need more of that in my life.

#3.  Pretty straightforward, I imagine.  My yoga books have some lovely suggestions for healthful eating and living, and of course there's always common sense.  I'm trying to give myself some slack on this one; this is not something I'll force myself to change all at once, but gradually as the days and weeks go by.  I want to be realistic, after all.

#4.  The final (and, I think, best) essay I wrote for my thesis explored the feminine side of God.  It seems monumentally unjust that Christians have spent millennia seeing God as male, when really God is both male and female, or perhaps neither--but either way, God encompasses both feminine and masculine qualities, yet we constantly refer to God as He/Father/Him/Lord, etc.  (I will attempt to refrain, at this point, from going into my thoughts on how this created the patriarchal hierarchy that causes so many imbalances and injustices in this world . . . ) So, to balance out my thinking of God as male for nearly the past three decades, I'm going to spend these weeks, and probably more, referring to God as female.  Not that this changes who God is . . . but perhaps I will learn to understand Her better.

As I look over this list, I realize that the core of these spiritual practices is balance.  I am taking a break from something in my life that has been given too much space.  I am putting into my life something that will slow me down and give me time to reflect and to BE in the midst of the busyness.  I am acknowledging femininity in what is still a predominantly masculine culture.  I am taking time to let God speak instead of me doing all the speaking.  I am addressing not only my spirit, but my mind, heart, and body, all of me, together.

I am interested to see where this takes me.  And I am grateful to my dear Greg, who said to me this evening (when I asked him if he thought I was crazy to do this):  "Allison, trying to make all these changes for 40 days is a very difficult thing.  But to make these changes just for tomorrow, just for Wednesday, is easy.  And then you can do the same for Thursday.  One day at a time."

As Anne Lamott's father put it, "Take it bird by bird."

I can do that.

And now, to bed.